Hat in the Ring!

Note: This post was originally posted on Facebook August 21, 2009 at 1:32am. I started this blog based on the popularity of my facebook messages, so I figured I'd put them here as well, backdated to when they were written.

Some people used to tell me I should run for president. I used to just laugh at that.
However, I feel like at least on Facebook there's one reason to throw my hat into the ring*:
SARAH PALIN
I can see her strategy. In case you didn't hear she quit being Governor of Alaska. Why?

So that she could write Facebook notes that's why!
The first one's already out. She didn't tag me, but that's part of her plan (I'll explain later!)
I heard on the news that her first note was about Barrack Obama trying to set up some sort of "death panel" to decide whether her children would live or die. This was not 100% true, but because she's famous people actually reported on it.

As I said, this is all part of her plan. She makes a few weird statements on Facebook so that people will friend her, hoping that they can help her self-esteem. Or, given the stuff people write about her online, try to hook up and give her some sexual healin'.** They may just want to get tagged in future notes.

This way she can take over Facebook, and then the country, and then, THE WORLD!!!

OK, so I'm being paranoid. But she started the whole paranoid thing.

In any case, someone else needs to be competing with her for the title of Queen of Facebook. And yes, I'm willing to be called "Queen of Facebook." I may even wear high heels to show the women of this nation that (as Clinton said) "I feel your pain." It apparently works as a pickup line, at least for blowjobs, if not for becoming the supreme leader of facebook.

I'm going to copy Sarah Palin's strategy of making wild statements in facebook notes about important issues. My modest proposals will often be ironic on purpose, which will make them better than hers. Although every once in a while I may actually say how I feel about something. But not now. Now it's 3:08 AM.

But stay tuned. If you want to that is.

*"Hat into the ring" is an annoying cliche if I ever heard one. I'll throw the hat and the ring into the lake of fire! Take that Frodo!
**Which will be covered in my healthcare plan.

An additional note: Being an evil socialist even by Obama's standards (which really isn't saying much) I worry about the government and corporations spying on me. So I'm not really all that interested in friending people I've not really met before, even if Sarah Palin is.